Sunday, March 1, 2009

I just stitched up my sides

I never heard of creation explained in this manner before.

In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth. He filled the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so that Man and Woman could live long and healthy lives.
Then using God’s great gift Satan created Baskin and Robins Ice cream and Krispy crème donuts. Satan asked “Do you want chocolates? And Man said ‘Yes’ and Woman said ‘Please add some sprinkles to it’

God created the health giving yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. Satan brought white flour from wheat and some fresh sugar from cane and combined them and Woman went from size 6 to 14.

So God said try my fresh green salad and Satan presented 1000 Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. Man and Woman unfastened their belts after a good meal.God then said I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them and Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken fried and steak and bacon so big it needed its own platter .Man gained weight and his cholesterol shot up through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds and Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so that Man would not have to toil changing channels and Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.Then God brought the potato naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition and Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fried them into Lays and Cheetos.

God then gave lean meant so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite and Satan created KFC and Mc Donalds and its extra 99- cent double cheese burger and then said ‘You want fries with them? And Man replied ‘Yes super size’ and Satan said ‘It is good’.

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created bypass surgery.

Then Satan created MediClaim and Health Maintenance Organizations

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